Tamil people have their own culture and tradition in their life which is inherited through generations. Marriages in Tamil families has its unique tradition and culture. The ways of fixing bride and grooms and the celebrations are different from rest of the Indians. Tamil people weddings are not so grand as the North Indian weddings.The arranged marriage is another practice that illustrates the importance Tamils place on the family. A majority of marriages in Tamil Nadu are arranged by families and several people are involved in the decision-making process. As popular belief goes, a marriage tied with many knots will not come undone.
Tamils mostly choose bride and groom within their family relations, since caste system is being strong in their nature. Mostly cross-cousin marriages are common. The bride for male is preferred from his mother's brother's daughter or his father's sister's daughter to some extent and sometimes his elder sister's daughter. Same way the groom for the female is preferred from her mother's younger brother or her father's sister's son. Some anthropologists described the marriage as an exchange of women among families with political and economic implications. This type of marriages made the males to remain in the protection of their mother.
Girls were married as soon as they start their first menstruation. The age of male for marriage was their 20s. Their was a big age difference between the couples. The minimum age difference would be at least 9 yrs. Marriage was regarded as a religious matter and was not registered within the state. Today's girls marry in their 20s and even late. The age difference is not much nowadays, since parents themselves are not interested in that ideology. However the tradition is male should be elder, so the minimum of 2 to 5 years difference is preferred nowadays. The registration of marriage is made necessity under the law from 2009.
Indian culture is well known for its arranged marriages. Same way Tamil people make arranged marriages. The decisions are taken by the elders of the family. Many people are indulged in this decision making process. When the bride and groom is decided, they fix a n auspicious day to confirm the marriage which is called as Nichayathartham( betrothal) in Tamil. Only after fixing this the two families of the bride and groom meet each other to discuss about their family traditions and also make arrangements for the marriage. There will be a minimum period of 3 months gap between this betrothal and the marriage day. This period is meant to make marriage arrangements like printing wedding invitations, inviting guests and relatives, purchasing dresses and house hold things, purchasing jewelry, arranging for the grand feast, arranging for the return gifts, fixing a brahmin priest or a caste priest who conducts the rituals for the marriage. Mostly the house hold things, jewels and dresses are given by the bride's family as a dowry to the groom. Nowadays, vehicles such as bike or car is also given in this dowry along with cash, whose value depends upon the wealth and education of the family. In Tamil culture brass utensils are given as a dowry to the bride which is followed even today. Many marriage rituals are related with that brass utensils and pooja utensils.
Today's girls and boys use this duration of time till marriage in chatting with themselves about their likes and dislikes. Some marriages are cancelled due to over chatting when it goes beyond limits. In olden days the bride never sees the groom till the marriage day. Inspite of all these pros and cons this tradition is followed through generations.
Although the marriage setup is common for all the Tamil people, the marriage rituals may vary within them accordingly to their regions. Each region in Tamil Nadu has different traditions which is inherited through generations.
After marriage mostly couples move in with the groom's family or in groom's village or town. Married women usually live with their husbands’ families, with retaining bonds with their natal families. They live under same roof, working, worshiping, eating, and cooperating together in social and economic activities.
Divorce, though being common today cannot be obtained easily due to social expectations. Widow marriage is forbidden or atleast uncommon. Today's generation are breaking many old traditions. Marriages within other castes and religions are held today by overcoming many obstacles. Researches say, there are possibilities of some genetic disorder if marriages are continued within their close blood relations. Many people got fear and awareness of this and gradually reduced the marriages between close blood relations.
In these ways marriages are fixed in Tamil families.
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